


between the sheets

by littlesliveroftime



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ben Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Ben is alive, Character Study, Comfort, Creampie, Depression, Drug Use, F/F, F/M, First Time, Humiliation, Kink Exploration, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, M/M, Masturbation, Praise Kink, Protective Vanya Hargreeves, Pseudo-Incest, Puberty Sucks, Realization, Shotgunning, Stuttering Diego Hargreeves, Underage Sex, Vaginal Fingering, accidental hard-on, five didnt time travel, five is soft, ghost troubles, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-04-06 04:33:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19055323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlesliveroftime/pseuds/littlesliveroftime
Summary: Growing up was hard for the hargreeves' children, especially in puberty’s clutches isolated from the outside world. Because of this, they learned to sneak around in the middle of the night after reginald shuts the monitors off for the night. Most of the time, they found themselves in each other's rooms.





	1. Vanya and Five

**Author's Note:**

> hello friends. i haven't written fanfiction since i was in eighth grade--so about eight years. at first, this can be read as a series of one-shots, but eventually (if people like the fic), i'll have it connect back together. this is a fic exploring the different relationships 1-7 have with each other. they all take place in the middle of the night with them all sneaking into each other's rooms to do naughty stuff.
> 
> i'll add more tags as we get there.

Reginald Hargreeves was never a simple or understanding man, but he, too, needed to sleep, which meant that he could not monitor his children’s sleeping patterns the whole night through.

 

Bedtime had always been 9:30 p.m. for as long as the seven teenagers could remember, even when they were single-digit ages. They had training and studying to do up until the dinner bell rang, and then they didn’t want to miss out on the play-time Grace and Pogo fought so hard for them to get. This resulted in a long day for Numbers 1-7 by the time 9:30 rolled around; with Four in her arms and Two clinging to her hand, the other five kids followed their mom up the stairs with half-closed and sleepy eyes. Reginald waited until they were all deeply asleep to set up the wires and monitors.

 

Vanya was 14 when she noticed the electronics dying off around 3:00 a.m. Her nightly pill helped her fall asleep, her body succumbing to the static haze twenty minutes after taking it, but it never let her sleep soundly. Vanya always found herself waking up to the smallest noises and the most peculiar nightmares. It wasn’t always like that. She used to sleep soundly through the night, but that was when she was only taking a pill in the morning, rather than twice a day.

 

On the night in question, Vanya woke to a gentle pop and the sound of a computer powering down. The night, once filled with white noise, was now all too quiet. While this didn’t happen every night, when it did wake her up, her analog clock always read anywhere from 3:00 a.m. to 3:10 a.m. Never later, never earlier.

 

A few weeks after her discovery, Vanya jerked awake abruptly with a gasp. While she couldn’t exactly remember what in her dream scared her down to her bone marrow, she remembered falling backward into a dark, empty room. She hadn’t felt an emotion this strong in a long time; she had to bite the back of her hand to choke off a sob. _It was just a dream_ , Vanya kept telling herself, _but it felt so real._

 

Vanya had never been daring or outgoing. She lived her life numb, just going through the motions and reacting the way she knew she should. She only ever felt alive when playing her violin, when her dreams evoked the worst emotions from the edges of her mind, and when Five kicked her gently under tables when their siblings were doing something particularly dumb. Vanya would look up, and Five would smirk so discreetly that she was sure she would be the only person able to notice it, even if the other five were looking at him, too. That look was specifically for her.

 

Actually, Five, in general, made her feel different. Different how she was not sure, but she knew he made her happy.

 

So, when Vanya was positive she wouldn’t wake her family up with an unexpected sob, she went to seek comfort. Her body moved faster than her brain, which she was thankful for because if it had been the opposite, she would have talked herself out of walking to Five’s bedroom down the hall. While her overthinking kept her out of risky situations, it made her miss out on some fun ones too. While Five seemed to enjoy her presence during the daylight, she wasn’t sure if he would welcome her now. Sleep was the only time they could all be free.

 

Vanya had occasionally heard Luther make his clumsy, nighttime stroll to Allison’s room, so why couldn’t she be like them? As in, sneaking into another sibling’s room in the middle of the night, Vanya corrected herself. She saw the way One and Three looked at each other, and while it made her blush, she would never bring it up or use it against them. It wasn’t her business.

 

Vanya used this burst of confidence to turn Five’s doorknob and push. She slipped in before the old mansion’s door could creak and gently closed it with a _click._

 

Her bare feet padded over towards Five’s bed, cold against the hardwood floor and sticky against his strewn-about papers. Five stirred when Vanya stepped on a particularly noisy floorboard. _Stupid, stupid, stupid_ , Vanya thought to herself as the bed sheets rustled.

 

She hadn’t thought this far ahead. What should she do now? What would she say? What would happen if he laughed and rejected her? The thought alone made her blanch and retreat to the door.

 

“Vanya?” Five said groggily from behind her. “Is that you?”

 

Vanya froze and closed her eyes. She wished she could just disappear as Five could. She sucked in a breath and on the exhale whispered, “Yeah.”

 

“What are you doing?” He asked.

 

Vanya turned back around and saw him propped up on his elbow, facing her, and peeling the wires off of his temples. From the moonlight and gray sky casting light in through his slatted window blinds, Vanya could see his eyes squinted in an attempt to focus on her. And she noticed how cute his bed-head was; it made him look vulnerable and very boyish compared to his normally gelled and well-kept hair.

 

Vanya bit her lip and walked back over to his bedside. “I, uh—” Vanya considered making up a lie. _Fuck it._ “I had a nightmare.”

 

Five looked at her blankly and then when he realized he wasn’t going to get any more of an explanation, he scooted over towards the wall, offering Vanya the little extra space the twin bed had to offer. She sat on the edge, perched awkwardly like a house guest on an expensive couch.

 

“Lay down,” Five commanded, amusement on his lips. “I’m tired still.”

 

With unsure hands, Vanya lifted the edge of his covers and scooted in under it, facing Five, who looked at her through one open eye.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Five asked in a whisper.

 

The gentleness was so unlike Five that Vanya wondered if he was still asleep. She would have expected that question from Klaus more than any of his other siblings, especially Five.

 

Their relationship wasn’t really like that. They had fun together and enjoyed each other’s minds, but they didn’t talk about _feelings_. Sure, Five had ranted about how much he hated Dad many times, but that barely breached the surface of _feelings_. Five was stoic, almost pretentiously. Vanya didn’t mind it so much. But their relationship was about companionship, not gossip or having a shoulder to cry on. Though, I guess it could be, if Five was offering.

 

Vanya nervously toyed with the folds in Five’s sheets and looked away from his face. She shook her head gently, knowing he wouldn’t understand because she herself didn’t even really understand. “I don’t really remember it.”

 

Five nodded and yawned. “Well, tell me tomorrow if you do.” He paused for a beat. “Did you, uh, want to stay here tonight? Is that why you’re here?”

 

“I don’t have to if you don’t want me to,” Vanya said, embarrassed. “I could go back to my room.”

 

“No,” Five said immediately. “No, it’s fine. Stay here. Just get out before Mom comes to wake us up.” Both of his eyes were closed now.

 

Vanya hoped she woke up in time but knew she probably wouldn’t sleep well anyway. “The old man will kill us if you’re not in your room at eight,” Five mumbled after a minute. She knew he was exaggerating, but Five was the one who got _private training_ , not her. She didn’t know what he’d put Five through.

 

The even numbers showered in the morning, while the odds showered at night, so Vanya knew she’d have to sneak out before 7:30 so she wouldn’t be questioned by Diego, Klaus, or Ben. Vanya wondered what they would think of her if they caught her leaving Five’s room so early? Would they understand? Would they look at her strangely? Or would they think that they were doing the same thing as Luther and Allison?

 

While it was no secret that Klaus has dabbled in the pleasures of the body, as their father called it, Vanya hadn’t even been kissed and was mortified at the thought of doing something like that with Five. More so, she was mortified at not hating the thought. It seemed like her siblings were miles ahead of her in growing up; Vanya was always one step behind though, with everything involving her family. Vanya wondered if Allison or Luther were hiding the same type of bruises Klaus proudly showed off after his morning shower.

 

She wondered if Five had been kissed and where and by who.

 

Vanya watched Five. He looked so much younger and peaceful than he did during the day—he looked his age rather than a grumpy old man. No lines between his brows from thinking too hard, and no lines around his mouth from his constant displeasure with life and the people he was forced to spend it with. Vanya wondered sometimes if he would just jump to another part of the world when he was older to start over. Family be damned. Vanya be damned. The fact of the matter was that she needed him far more than he needed her.

 

“Are you going to sleep or just keep staring me all night?” Five mumbled, one of his smirks tugging on the corner of his mouth.

 

Vanya was grateful that his eyes were still closed so that he didn’t see the blush oh her cheeks. Vanya turned over anyway, just in case.

 

“Sorry,” Vanya said, tucking her hair behind her ears and fixing her bangs so they wouldn’t tickle her.

 

“Don’t be,” Five said back, just as quiet, placing a hand on her waist, testing the waters.

 

Yep, thank god she rolled over. Five felt the tension in Vanya’s body leave under his hand. He pulled her a bit closer to him, just barely chest-to-back. While she was vibrating from the attention and contact, Vanya wondered if he could hear or feel how hard her heart was working this close together.

 

Then, Vanya realized, she didn’t care. Just for tonight, she would let herself be still. Vanya closed her eyes, feeling better already.

 

***

 

Vanya couldn’t remember the last time she slept so well, even if it was just for a few hours. She didn’t wake up again and had a dreamless sleep. Honestly, it was a miracle she woke up when the sun peeked over the horizon and dusted her eyelids.

 

With her eyes still closed, she listened to Five’s steady and strong heartbeat. Vanya’s head was resting on Five’s chest now, his arm under her head. She was really awake by the time she noticed two of her fingers were slid through the space separated by buttons in his shirt. Her pinky moved oh-so-slowly, trying not to disturb Five. As if she touched an ‘on’ button, Five’s still-asleep body changed positions. Vanya followed his lead, like a dancer on a stage, and let herself be spooned again.

 

Maybe Vanya was touch starved. Maybe she just really liked how warm Five made her feel and how good he smelled. Maybe a little of both. But all she knew was she didn’t want to leave. Vanya wished the planet would stop spinning for a moment, just for them. Have his soft hands bring the feeling back to her skin and back to her life.

 

Five knew her better than anyone else, after all. They might not have the relationship that Ben and Klaus had (or Allison and Luther, for that matter), but he still knew the right words to say to make her smile. Vanya knew she would do anything for Five, and that thought scared her.

 

Which is the reason why Vanya froze when she felt something move and harden against her lower back.

 

It was laughable how much less embarrassing last night was compared to how she felt right now. Should she leave quickly and quietly before he could wake up and be embarrassed too? Probably.

 

And yet, Vanya couldn’t get her legs to move. Puberty was a bitch for girls, too, but at least she could conceal her arousal better than boys. Though, Vanya wouldn’t want him to hide it—this was oddly exhilarating. She could get drunk off of this feeling. The physical pressure, yes, but also she felt seen and appreciated and _turned on._

 

Five let out a breathy, soft moan when she shifted positions slightly to try to make the tingles go away, his body chasing the honey-sweet contact, and Vanya squeaked accidentally. The sound must have been a bit too loud because it made Five stir, his body slowly waking up. _Fuck._

 

“Mmm—V-Vanya?” Five stuttered groggily, simultaneously remembering the visit last night and realizing he was _hard._ He tried to shift his hips strategically and subtly to get his dick off the back of Vanya’s ass, but the damage was already done. “Um.”

 

“I should head back to my room,” Vanya said quickly, trying to save Five from any embarrassment. “Thank you for letting me sleep here last night.”

 

“Sorry,” Five said, the lines returning to his face. They both knew what he was talking about.

 

Flushing five shades of red, Vanya looked at him from the side of the bed, his body stretched out and hair ruffled and his eyes so fucking blue.

 

“Don’t be,” Vanya said bravely before racing out the door.

 

Vanya closed her own door behind her and crawled into her cold bed. It was not cold between her legs though, and Vanya had no idea what to do. Her own pubescent body was still a mystery to herself.

 

Vanya pressed a hand to her fluttering tummy and waited for Grace to knock a tune on her door to wake her up. She wished her shower could be in the morning today. She needed a cold one.

 

When Five heard her bedroom door close, his dick twitched.

 

Five was no stranger to his hard-ons. He was going through puberty after all. Five was ashamed to admit how weak-willed he was in this regard, usually so composed. While he was finishing up his morning masturbation session, porcelain skin covered with brunette bangs popped in his head.

 

Five gasped, his orgasm hitting him like a car crash: unexpected and hard. He choked back a moan, cum drenching the inside of his pajama pants. His heart was still pounding by the time he got his breathing back under control, this time for realizing who he just came thinking of.

 

“ _Shit_ ,” Five mumbled, knowing he was fucked.


	2. Klaus and Diego

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know theres a time jump from the last chapter to here, but we're going back in the next chapter. we love an inconsistent bitch.

Klaus was fifteen and everything was fucking terrible but weed. And sex. Sometimes. Anything that made him feel miles away from his body, really. His ribcage felt like a graveyard gate that was just begging to creak open. Klaus kept that shit locked up tight, but that meant they didn’t _shut up, shut up, shut up._

 

And, well, that just wouldn’t do.

 

Thankfully, Klaus became familiar with Diego’s stolen pocket knife when it came to jimmying open locked windows and protecting himself. Klaus didn’t have any useful powers like his siblings that could do or deflect damage, so Klaus had to improvise when he roamed the streets looking for a good time. And, unfortunately, the world was less kind than he had imaged when he first started sneaking out.

 

The only perk to that was shady men on corners and in alleys didn’t hesitate to sell pot to young teens, like Klaus. Thank god. He’d go crazy in his own head like the whales at Seaworld without some sort of release. They occasionally offered stuff harder than weed, but until the weed stopped working, he was fine, thankyouverymuch.

 

Today was rough. Klaus was more sober than he’d like to be, considering they had a mission at six in the morning that lasted well into the afternoon. It was in the historic part of town, meaning that ghosts of all ages and centuries and deaths harassed him while he was trying to focus. His hangover and, honestly, lack of interest in the Umbrella Academy nonsense made this particularly hard. Luther had to pull a guy off of him for Christ’s sake; he’d never hear the end of it. Daddy Dearest sent him to his room for almost fucking up the mission, and Grace had to bring him dinner on a platter, not that he was hungry anyway.

 

Now, at 3:00 a.m. (-ish. He wasn’t sure.), Klaus was still awake. He wished he wasn’t—his eyes burned from tiredness—but his head was too loud. It took very little to break his resolve and light a joint. At least he had the decency to open his window. _Some_ of his darling siblings would totally rat him out if they smelled anything funky.

 

Klaus sat in his desk chair, his feet propped up on the desk while he teetered on the chair’s back two legs, as he watched the cherry red burn at the end of the joint. It looked particularly pretty tonight under the glow of his fairy lights. Klaus was scared of the dark.

 

He wished he could be like the smoke and just disappear.

 

Inhale. Exhale.

 

“What are you doing?” Diego’s voice said from behind him.

 

Klaus turned his head, holding the joint between loose fingers. One arm was crossed across his torso while the other was bent up; he felt like he looked like an old Vogue model. He looked pretty, even if he felt like fried shit.

 

“Oh, hello, _bro_ ,” Klaus said, teasing him with a wolfish grin. “Why are you up at this fine hour?”

 

“Had to piss and had to pass your room to get there. You know you can smell it down the hall, right?”

 

Klaus waved his hand, taking another drag. He let it out in Diego’s direction, never breaking eye contact. He didn’t give a fuck anymore about who smelled what.

 

“Well, close the door at least. _Jeez_ ,” Klaus said.

 

Diego pursed his lips and shuffled his feet, tempted but obviously nervous. This was a bad idea, he knew.

 

“C’mon, Dee. Live a little. Keep your troubled and _favorite_ brother company.”

 

"I didn't know Ben was in here," Diego smirked.

 

"Ha," Klaus said. "Now get in here."

 

Diego shut the door and shuffled over to Klaus’s unused but messy bed. He crawled on, sitting up at the headboard with his ankles crossed.

 

“Dad was mad at you tonight,” Diego said. “Thought he was gonna explode.”

 

Klaus rolled his eyes, taking another hit before ashing it a little. “Yeah, what else is new? The sky’s blue, the grass is green, and _Number Four is a disappointment_.” Klaus mimicked Reggie’s accent with the last statement. Diego smirked.

 

Reginald had very high standards for how he wanted his children to act, and Klaus never checked any of those boxes. If Diego thought he was angry today, he should have seen him when Klaus got caught sneaking a boy through his window. That was a fun night.

 

“So why are _you_ up so late?” Diego said.

 

Klaus was quiet for a moment. “Oh, you know. So much to do, so little time.”

 

“I’m serious.”

 

“So am I!” Klaus protested. “The ghosties don’t want me to stop partying.”

 

“Are they bad today?” Diego asked quietly.

 

Klaus looked away and was silent again. “Yeah. A bit, yeah.” Klaus didn’t like talking about this. “But! But we. Are. Coping!” Klaus grinned, emphasizing every word.

 

Diego was always worried about him, and Klaus let him be, enjoying the attention. Klaus was tragic, after all. On occasion, Klaus would make an exception to his own rule and open up to his brother about the ghosts. Diego was always his exception. Right now, Diego looked genuinely concerned, and it almost killed Klaus’s high. What a fucking buzzkill.

 

“Have you ever smoked, Diego?”

 

Diego looked like he was caught in his underwear in front of the class, whatever that looked like. Klaus had really no idea how to imagine this little scenario considering he never went to normal-people school, but he heard people in his travels say the phrase.

 

Klaus barked out a singular laugh at the look. “I take that as a big N-O. Do you want to try?”

 

Diego gave him another uncomfortable look as if he was worried taking a hit would turn him into a junkie.

 

“Use your words, Go-Go. Come on now. What does Mom say? Picture them, or something.”

 

“Shut up,” Diego began. “You haven’t called me Go-Go since we were, like, seven.”

 

“Yeah, well, you just looked like such a cutie pie—” Klaus reached over and tried to pinch Diego’s cheek, but he swatted him away. “—I just couldn’t resist. So do you want to?”

 

“I d-don’t know…” Oh, that sounded like a challenge.

 

“There’s nothing in it but good ol’ marijuana, if that’s what you’re worried about. And, besides, I wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you.” Klaus could be soft sometimes. “You know that.”

 

Diego’s tough exterior was wilting. Besides, no one could look tough in those grey PJs. That’s why Klaus slept in his boxer-briefs, only putting clothes on if he had to see their father.

 

Klaus, no matter how miserable he might be, had the ability to get people to open up to him, trust him. He didn’t mind it; in fact, it was kind of nice having that relationship with his siblings. He’s kept Allison’s secrets, held Vanya while she cried, talked to Ben about his Monsters. He helped Luther pick out that necklace for Allison, coaxed Five out of fighting with their dad, and helped Diego with his stutter. He liked feeling loved and needed, even if they weren’t nice to him all the time. They knew he was there for them.

 

Klaus wasn’t afraid to say that he was probably Diego’s favorite person in the house, besides Mom. While he tried to act hard and mean, Klaus saw right past that. Klaus could push Diego’s buttons like no one else and was probably the only person Diego wouldn’t verbally attack over it. Diego liked protecting Klaus—from others? From his own self-destructive tendencies? Yes. To both, and more.

 

“W-What is it going to do to me?” Diego asked, his stutter creeping in with the anxiety.

 

“Probably calm you down,” Klaus said. “That’s what it does to me. Sometimes it makes me horny.” He shrugged and Diego honest-to-god blushed.

 

Forgive him, but Diego was hot. Especially with this blush he had going on. He knows they’re brothers—believe me, he _knows_ —but Klaus has always been a bit fucked up. Klaus always liked the tall, dark, and handsome types. He wasn’t sure what came first: liking Diego because he was his type, or having the type because of Diego.

 

“Fuck it,” Diego said, kicking him out of his thoughts. “Fine.”

 

Klaus grinned at him, giddy, and joined him on the bed. He held the half-burnt joint out to his brother, who took it gingerly. Diego was no pussy. Without another hesitation, he put the joint to his lips and sucked in.

 

“Whoa there, big boy,” Klaus chuckled, knowing that was a Big hit.

 

As if on cue, Diego coughed hard. Klaus tried to shush him through giggles, and Diego covered his mouth, trying to keep the noise in. Klaus handed him his water bottle. Diego coughed at that too and went bug-eyed at Klaus.

 

“Oh, that must be the vodka.” Klaus tutted. “Here, try this one.” He leaned down and grabbed an emptier bottle off the floor and passed it to Diego.

 

Still clearing his throat, he sniffled the bottle this time before taking a sip. “Thanks.”

 

For a few minutes, Diego and Klaus passed the joint back and forth to each other, making small talk and sharing secret laughs. Diego looked good like this. Relaxed. Smiling. Though, he looked good all the time, even when covered in blood and cuts. They had so very little time to actually enjoy themselves, and Diego looked like a normal kid being reckless and experimenting.

 

Every time, Diego struggled not to cough. And Klaus doesn’t know if it’s just the weed or if it because Diego is being a bit more of a tease tonight, but he looked delicious. Loose-limbed and smiling while grabbing onto Klaus. His bitten red lips practically begging to be licked open and abused more, and fuck anyone else who thought they didn’t belong to Klaus. Klaus is selfish and has an idea.

 

“Do you trust me?” Klaus asked, glancing at Diego’s lips while taking the joint with unsure hands. He could ruin everything right now.

 

“Yeah, a-always, Klaus,” Diego said.

 

“I have something we can try, and you might like it. Easier on the lungs.” Diego nodded.

 

Klaus was full steam ahead with this verbal okay, and he took the last hit. Long and easy. “It’s called shotgunning,” Klaus said, smoke in his lungs. Diego’s eyes went wide as Klaus leaned in but the rest of Diego’s body was pliant against his hands.

 

Klaus was truthfully only going to get close to Diego’s mouth, bit Diego closed the distance, already having prepared himself for a kiss, which made Klaus vibrate with excitement.

 

Klaus, in surprise, let out an embarrassing mix between a squeak and moan, and he wanted to die. Whether it was on purpose or from a gasp, Diego breathed the smoke straight from Klaus’s lungs. It was a deep, soul-sucking inhale that made Klaus’s insides ache, but Klaus was prepared to give Diego everything as long as he never stopped doing this.

 

At some point, there was no more smoke to give, but Diego hesitated, holding his breath while still on Klaus’s mouth. The joint was long forgotten, dropped on Klaus’s bed; it burned a little hole in the sheets before burning out. When Diego pulled away, blowing smoke out to the side, Klaus stared so deeply into Diego’s eyes that he could see the flecks of gold in Diego’s brown eyes. Diego greedily kept the gaze.

 

No matter what Diego might say, he glanced down at Klaus’s lips twice before Klaus licked his and started to lean in. Diego let out a shuttered breath that was on par with his stutter. Klaus was half chub in his underwear without having had their lips touching for more than two seconds, and— _Jesus Christ_ —Klaus knew he was done for.

 

Again, Diego was putty in his hands, which were currently crawling up his neck towards his hair. Klaus wanted to run his fingers through Diego’s short hair and _taketaketake_. Diego let his lips be shaped to fit Klaus’s like a goddamn work of art, and Klaus shuttered, his lips moving more than his mind currently was. Diego even tilted his head for easier access. What a good boy.

 

All of this affected him so violently and passionately. As if this couldn’t get any more ridiculous, Klaus thought the name of the act they just did was highly appropriate: Klaus felt like he got shot, alright. He started to pull back before he bled his hopes and dreams into Diego’s mouth since he already got crossfaded off his lips.

 

“Fuck, Diego—you’re so fucking hot, what the fuck,” Klaus hissed.

 

The kiss wasn’t even anything special. Tongues weren’t even involved. Their lips didn’t even move. They were just connected for a moment in time.

 

As if Klaus pinched him, Diego flinched and drew farther away. Diego’s blush never went away, and it fought for dominance against his tan skin. He couldn’t look Klaus in the eye.

 

“I-I-I should get going,” Diego said quickly, fidgeting for the best way out. His cock was twitching to life, and Diego could only press the heel of his palm to the front of his pants for so long before Klaus noticed.

 

“Oh, um,” Klaus said. “Okay. I’m sorry?”

 

“It’s okay,” Diego said quickly. “Just-just shouldn’t have smoked.”

 

“Wait, why not? I thought everything was going fine.”

 

“Yeah, I mean...I don’t know. I, um, liked the last one you did there.” Diego fumbled off the bed, almost causing Klaus to topple off. A blinding panic was setting in. They were brothers, and Diego had a fucking boner while kissing him, and what the _fuck_ is right.

 

“Diego, wait—”

 

“I hope the ghosts let you get some sleep now.”

 

And Klaus swore he heard Diego’s door click shut before Klaus could even process what the fuck just happened. Klaus touched his lips like he was in a fucking 1980’s chick-flick and knew something important happened here.

 

When Diego got back to his room, he went straight to bed, mad as hell at himself for letting all of this happen. He was going to bed with a throbbing hard-on, for Christ’s sake. Everything about this was _dirtybadwrong_ and that disgustingly made his cock more interested, which made Diego even madder.

 

This was not good. Not good at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> be nice to me, im sensitive. hope you liked! give feedback if you did!! allison and luther up next. theres gunna be a few days until that comes out though because i haven't written anything for it yet lmao


	3. Allison and Luther

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: not a huge fan of alluther  
> also me: writes more for them than five/vanya or kliego

Luther never really liked his birthday. Or, he didn’t really care about it at all.

 

There were pluses and minuses about sharing a birthday with six other people. On one hand, they didn’t feel the need to waste seven whole days of the year doing silly birthday parties when they could be doing something more productive, like training.

 

On the other hand, Luther never got a day that was just his and his alone. He had to share the spotlight with his siblings, and they all felt entitled to it as much as he did. Was it so wrong of him to want a day where all the attention was on him? A day where everyone did what he wanted and made sure he was happy. He was sure Klaus and Allison would at least like that kind of attention for themselves. In fact, he _knew_ Allison would love it.

 

Allison would love to ditch their uniform and dress up in her best outfit, her hair chocolate dipped and swirling all around her. Allison would make sure they had Belgian waffles for breakfast and filet mignon for dinner; she would insist Mom made it the way the governor had it at the banquet dedicated to them, even though Mom wasn’t even there to know what that was like.

 

Luther was happy to eat that because he knew it made Allison happy.

 

Sometimes he wished Dad let them choose their own birthdays, like Mom let them choose their own names, but he was sure their father had a reason for keeping it all the same. He always did. Probably to instill another sense of camaraderie that could help during missions. That made sense and was good enough for Luther.

 

This year, for their fifteenth birthday, Dad let them sleep in for as long as they wanted, and Grace was waiting for them in the kitchen with practically a full buffet to ensure that they all got their favorites. But that was it, really.

 

Luther, liking to be on a routine, still woke up at six so he could get his push-ups and crunches in before 7:30.

 

Dad decided, rightfully so, that they were old enough and mature enough to understand that their duty to the world came before cake and whatnot. He did go easier on them during training, and did give them a full half an hour extra time for themselves later in the day, and yet his siblings still grumbled.

 

His free time was Allison’s free time, so Luther was grateful for however much time Dad wanted to give them. Allison knew this too, which is why she grinned full-cheeked when Dad dismissed them; she always was his favorite. She was grateful too, unlike his other siblings.

 

Five flashed out of the room before Dad even finished his dismissal, his other three brothers immediately grouped together and raced up the stairs, and Dad left through the opposite door towards his study, leaving Allison and Luther to their own devices, as Luther preferred. When they knew they were truly alone and wouldn’t be caught, Allison slipped her petal-soft hand into Luther’s, making his heart flutter.

 

It might come as a surprise to some, but Allison and Luther were hiding a secret relationship. Well...they never put a label on it, but they both belonged to each other. Luther would be mortified if anyone found out about him and her—he would lose all the respect and power he’s built for himself with his siblings.

 

With that being said, he loved her. Truly, honestly _loved_ her. Maybe it was screwed up, but he never saw Allison as his sister. Not when Dad made it perfectly clear as soon as they could understand that they were adopted and will train as a team. _Call me father, if you must,_ Dad had said. _Call them siblings, if you must._

 

And, hey, at 15, they’ve done a lot of crazy stuff that no one in their right mind could imagine. They were all born to mothers who didn’t know they were pregnant, bought by a billionaire, taught to kill. They had superpowers. They had a robot for a mom and a monkey for a servant. Kissing Allison is the most normal thing they’ve ever done.

 

After they both rinsed off the sweat from training (separately, of course), the pair slapped on their uniforms in preparation for their studies. They had two hours of “school” before dinner time, but that wasn’t for another half an hour. In the meantime, Allison knocked on Luther’s door before letting herself in. Leaving the door half open, because those were the rules, Allison took off her blazer and sat on Luther’s bed. He couldn’t help but notice her skirt sliding higher up her thighs, but he politely didn’t stare. She would let him if he wanted, though.

 

“So,” Allison said, folding her hands in her lap. She was sitting with her legs crossed and the skirt blocking off a direct view to her panties. “How does it feel being 15? What do you think Mom’s making for dinner?”

 

“Strangely enough, I feel exactly as I did yesterday when I was fourteen,” Luther said. “And I dunno. Something over the top probably if we’re going off of breakfast.”

 

“I feel different. I think? Older. It’ll be more important next year, but _fifteen_ sounds so much better than fourteen.”

 

“Yeah, I can see the grays starting to come in,” Luther teased, tugging on the ends of her hair. She giggled and pushed his hand away.

 

They laid there for a bit, pretending the sun was shining just for them. They both felt the heat of it, at any rate. Allison was a matchstick and Luther had always been a stupid, stupid candle, dripping love for her.

 

“I wish Dad let us have a party or something at least,” Allison sighed. Luther didn’t mention that they didn’t have any friends outside of the Academy or that the seven of them didn’t all get along.

 

“Maybe next year. Sweet sixteen, and all that,” Luther said.

 

“That’s a whole year away, Luth.”

 

“Well...maybe we could do something tonight? Just you and me?” Luther said, hope drooling from his lips. They’d made visits to each other's rooms before in the middle of the night once Dad let slip to Luther that he turned the monitors off at 3:00 a.m. Luther still felt a little guilty about using Dad’s trust to break the rules.

 

Allison smiled. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that,” she said, her voice gentle and fond.

 

“Children! Lessons begin in five minutes, and I don’t want to see anyone even a minute late!” Reginald bellowed up the stairs at them. Luther’s spine straightened out at the command.

 

“Tonight after Dad goes to bed? Your room?” Luther whispered. Allison nodded, and Luther quickly kissed her on the cheek before standing up.

 

“You heard Dad! Get down to the library, guys!” Luther shouted down the hallway, prepared to pluck his siblings from their rooms individually if they didn’t start opening their doors.

 

Vanya and Ben didn’t even look at him as they passed, talking quietly about a book they’re reading. _Running with Scissors,_ or something like that. Or was it _My Sister’s Keeper_? Luther couldn’t keep up with all the books they read, and he was suspicious of where they got all the novels. Dad didn’t have many fun reads.

 

“Brown-noser,” Diego mumbled passing Luther, Klaus giggling behind him. 

 

Luther didn’t even get angry at Diego; he was too excited about tonight.

 

***

 

Luther tried to sleep until three—he really did—as to not mess up Dad’s research, but he just couldn’t. Maybe he got an hour or two in, but not much more.

 

At 3:15, Luther heard the familiar sound of Dad shutting down his machines for the night, and Luther was out of his bed quicker than Five could teleport. He waited for his dad’s footsteps to fade away to the other side of the house before he slipped out his bedroom door, socks slipping on the hardwood to be quiet. He let himself into Allison’s room without even knocking.

 

“God, I thought Dad would never go to bed,” Allison whispered, sitting up and peeling the wires off of herself.

 

Luther grinned at her and joined Allison in her bed. For some reason, Allison’s bed was always so much warmer and comfier than Luther’s—maybe she rumored Dad into letting her get nicer stuff. Either way, Luther wasn’t complaining, because he got to share it with her.

 

“Happy birthday, Allie,” Luther said.

 

“It’s not our birthday anymore,” she said back, smartly, before leaning in and pecking him on the lips.

 

Every time Allison kissed Luther, he felt like it was the first time. He never felt so alive. Maybe mouth-to-mouth was all he needed.

 

Luther pressed his forehead against hers and looked into her eyes. Raising one hand to Allison’s cheek, he pressed their lips together again, his eyes fluttering shut. Sometimes Luther and Allison snuck into each other’s rooms to talk or to seek comfort; other times, they didn’t. This was one of those times. All they had were each other, after all.

 

Allison made the first move to nibble Luther’s lower lip, demanding entrance. Luther let her, not unfamiliar to him now. Allison taught him all he knew about kissing and now he was a pro at making her squirm.

 

Allison sucked in a breath as Luther pulled her closer by the back of her neck. Like usual, Luther had to be the one in charge, licking into her mouth like he was _starving_. She simply submitted, even though she had such a big personality. Sometimes, though, she liked to be in control, but tonight, Allison was going to be treated like a fucking queen.

 

Luther was quickly aching and straining against their matching pajamas. Christ. He couldn’t wait until he wasn’t oozing hormones to the point where everything gave him a painful boner. But, he didn’t mind as much when Allison crept her fimble and simply perfect fingers up to his crotch. When contact was made, Luther whined quiet and prayed she didn’t hear it, but she did, and it only egged her on. His cock twitched against her hand as she wrapped it around his still clothed member. What a tease.

 

“God, I can never get over how _big_ you are.”

 

It didn’t take long after that for the pair of them to be in their underwear. Luther in his white briefs and Allison in underwear he never saw before. Her usual cotton underpants were replaced by black lace panties with a matching bra.

 

“Well?” Allison said after a minute of silence. Luther was just gawking at her.

 

“Where - Where did you get those?” he asked.

 

“The last time Pogo brought me to the store to buy pads, I rumored him into driving to Victoria’s Secret, too.” Allison smiled, feeling no remorse. “Do you like it?”

 

Allison would have to be stupid if she thought he didn’t. He answered with his mouth, hot and desperate, against hers, their teeth clashing together. Luther knew this wasn’t Allison’s favorite way to kiss, but _my god_ did she need to be ravished. He kissed, licked, bit down her neck, her collar, her chest until he was led to Allison’s breasts by her cleavage. There was no reason a 15-year-old should have tits this disgustingly sexy, but here we are. Luther was _not_ complaining.

 

Luther sucked a small bruise onto the fleshy part available, and Allison shuttered so hard her bra strap fell off. As if she opened the door for him, he made quick work pulling her bra off of her. Luther was still embarrassingly bad at the clasps, so he just yanked it over Allison’s head.

 

He had only seen Allison like this a handful of times, but every time he immediately knew she was way out of his league. I mean, Jesus Christ, there were grown ass adults lusting over The Rumor and yet she chose to let only him touch her like this. Luther said _thank you_ with his tongue circling her nipple, and _I love you_ with his thumb playing with the other.

 

When he pulled back, he glanced down and saw Allison rubbing herself through her panties. Luther wished there was more light than just the moon in the room so he could see her just a little better, but he knew better than to turn on the light. It would attract his family like moths.

 

“Let me,” Luther whispered gruffly like he had to reach into his throat to get those words to the surface.

 

Allison paused for a moment, her lips slightly parted. “O-Okay,” she said, moving her hand away.

 

Luther bit the inside of his lip as he hooked his fingers under the hips of her panties. He looked up Allison for permission, and she flushed red but nodded anyway. Luther let out a shuttered breath and pulled her panties down her thighs, down her calves, and off her ankles. Allison slid down a little on the bed, getting comfortable.

 

Luther had touched her before, sure, but never like this. He wasn’t sure what came over him other than the overwhelming urge to make Allison feel good. He couldn’t help but look down; Allison had neatly trimmed pubic hair and a _very_ pretty pussy. Luther could tell, even in the semi-dark room, that Allison was dripping. He hoped one day they could do this with the lights on—Luther wanted to memorize _everything_ about her.

 

Luther moved his eyes back up to Allison’s but lowered his head. Keeping eye contact, Luther licked a stripe between her legs, testing the waters. She was burning hot against his tongue and tasted salty and sweet, like salted caramel. Allison gasped and dropped a hand on the top of Luther’s head, dragging her fingers through his short hair. 

 

“Is this okay?” Luther asked, his breath against her folds.

 

“Yesyesyes,” Allison responded, begging him to keep going.

 

Luther smirked a little and put his mouth back on her heat. He could do this all night; he just couldn’t get enough of her pussy. He dipped his tongue into her and gathered as much of her wetness as he could, swallowing it down. Allison gasped again when he licked up. _That must be her clit_ , Luther thought to himself. He remembered learning about it in their anatomy lesson. Luther let his mouth linger there—flicking up and down, back and forth, zig-zag—before sucking slightly.

 

“Jesus, Luther—” Allison moaned quietly. Luther glanced up to gauge her reaction. He didn’t expect her to be playing with her nipples, but it made his dick twitch hard. She looked like a feral angel. “Don’t stop.”

 

He wasn’t planning on it. Luther kept eating her out, his mouth sucking and licking at the same time, trying to pry more pretty noises from her. In one more stroke of bravery, Luther slipped a finger inside her, smooth. Allison’s back arched off the bed violently, but she whimpered softly.

 

He fucked his finger into her steadily, keeping his tongue firm over her clit. Having super strength and a dad who trains you hard meant his wrist (and, he supposed, tongue) didn’t get tired. He could put a lot more pressure on her, and he wanted to, but he didn’t know what Allison liked. Luther slipped another finger in.

 

Without a word spoken, there was an exchange of power; Allison kept her hand on Luther’s head as she ground up against his mouth and fingers. She needed to be in control of her own pleasure.

 

After a few minutes, Allison choked out, “More. I need—more.” Luther looked up at her, eyes searching for more answers. He would give her the moon if she asked right now.

 

“I want—” Allison bit her lip, all of a sudden shy. “I want you _in_ me.”

 

The blood rushed in Luther’s ears and his cock. Did he hear that right? Luther took his mouth off of her with a pop, his chin soaked. “Are you sure? We don’t have to.”

 

“I’m sure. I’m ready.”

 

Luther could have came in his underwear right then and there, but he sat up and pressed the heel of his hand to his dick painfully to postpone what was to happen.

 

“But—But we don’t have condoms,” Luther said. Don’t get him wrong, he _wanted_ this, he just needed Allison to, too.

 

“Fuck, Luther, I don’t _care_. Just—Just pull out before you come.” Allison spread her legs wider for him.

 

“ _Shit_. Okay, yeah. Fuck.” Luther pushed his own underwear off swiftly, precum already beading at the head.

 

Luther brought himself up, flush against Allison, but holding himself up by arms positioned around her head. His cock was nudging against her slick pussy, and Luther looked down to see the slide.

 

“Please,” Allison whispered. Luther looked up at her, his heart about to pop. He pressed his forehead against her own before pressing into her tight, virgin hole.

 

Allison flinched hard and grabbed Luther’s upper arms. “Hold on,” she said, trying to adjust to Luther’s girth. Only a little past his head was in.

 

Luther had never felt anything so fucking good in his life. It was hot and tight and wet, and he just wanted to fill her up more. After an agonizing minute, Allison nodded her head. Luther finished pushing in and groaned, dropping his head to the crook of her neck.

 

Allison felt like she was being split into two and it _hurt_ , but she didn’t want to stop now. They’ve come so far. Luther definitely felt some resistance, but he was sure it was because they’ve never done anything like this before. Nothing had ever been this deep inside of her. It was foreign and awkward, but she finally felt that closeness she’d been aching for.

 

“ _Move_ already,” Allison said, panting. And Luther didn’t need to be told twice.

 

He pulled out almost completely and rocked back into her. After three more pumps, Luther knew he was going to come embarrassingly quick. He persevered through, his mental strength being tested tonight.

 

Allison reached between them and started rubbing her clit again, taking the edge off the dull pain. He finally moaned into the dark room.

 

“Fuckfuckfuck,” Luther chanted. “ _Allison_.”

 

Minutes passed and their bodies danced together to the music of their own breathing, moaning, and bed creaking. Allison was starting to buck her hips up to meet Luther’s thrusts, and he took that as a signal to go faster, harder.

 

“I’m close,” Allison whined, every one of her nerves on fire.

 

“Me too,” Luther said, pulling back a little to watch her.

 

As if on cue, Allison’s eyes pinched closed and her body went taut. Her pussy clenched rhythmically around Luther’s cock and he had to force himself to pull out before he spilled into her.

One, two, three strokes with his hand and Luther was shooting onto Allison’s stomach. Some even reached her breasts. The look Allison gave him made the last bit of cum spurt out pathetically.

 

Luther flopped down next to her, their arms burning each other. They both were breathing the way they did after a particularly hard training session with Dad. Allison dipped her finger into the spunk on her torso and licked it experimentally. Luther hummed at the sight.

 

“Happy birthday, Luther,” Allison said, looking at him.

 

Maybe he did feel different being fifteen. Maybe this was going to be the best year of his whole life. It was starting to look that way. He was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that he just _lost his virginity_. To his sister, no less. Maybe it made him a sick fuck, but this was the best birthday present ever. It would never be topped.

 

_I love you_. “Happy birthday, Allie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> be nice to me im sensitive


	4. Ben and Klaus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this happens after their fifteenth birthday. i changed it so that Diego and Klaus were 15 when the shotgunning thing happened btw. enjoy!

Klaus was selfish, neurotic, self-destructive, shifty, and unreliable at best, but no one could ever say that Klaus didn’t care about his family.

 

Today was Ben’s day for private training, and it was his personal nightmare once a week. He always put himself to bed for the rest or a good portion of the day after the training was over. Letting the Eldritch monsters out to try to control them was one thing, but Dad forcing Ben to _not_ let the monsters out to control himself under immense stressors was a whole other beast.

 

The tentacles were roiling in Ben’s gut tonight. They usually did when Dad decided to not let them out, but the last four trainings had been just about not letting them out. He hadn’t gone this long without freeing them ever, and they weren’t happy about it.

 

It fucking hurt.

 

Ben had been spending the last six hours fighting off tears. Every now and again, a stray tear or whimper would fall out of his mouth, but as the night progressed, the soft, pathetic noises falling out of Ben’s mouth became more frequent.

 

He was sure Klaus could hear him, but he hoped he didn’t. Ben didn’t want to disturb his brother, not that Klaus was trying to sleep in the first place (Klaus rarely went to bed before three nowadays so that he could purposely fuck up Dad’s research). Ben also didn’t like being seen in such a vulnerable state, in true Hargreeves fashion. Ben never cried unless he was really hurt. He didn’t even cry when he broke his arm climbing a tree or when Diego accidentally cut him and he needed stitches.

 

When the power went out for the equipment, Klaus peeled the sticky pads of the EEG off and stuck them on his unicorn stuffie. He at least kept them on to make Dad think he was playing along.

 

Ben couldn’t help it—when he thought no one was paying attention since the computers were shut off, he started crying. The pain was just unreal. He couldn’t even let them out here because Dad would know.

 

Everyone assumed the tentacles came out through a portal, but they were wrong. The tentacles lived inside him, curled around his ribs and between his organs. Ben’s torso split neat down the middle when they came out to play and sealed itself shut when they left. There would always be an angry pink and purple raised scar after that would calm down a few days later. It was their door. Ben fucking hated it. He fucking hated his body. He couldn’t even stand looking at himself naked most days. Dad checked his stomach every morning to make sure he wasn’t letting them out.

 

Klaus was loud, eccentric, flamboyant, and completely over-the-top, but he paid attention. Klaus knew when his siblings were struggling and offered to help, even if he was met with a _shut up and go away, Klaus._ Everyone counted Klaus out, but not Ben.

 

Ben always saw Klaus. While he wasn’t much of a talker, he was good at listening; a true wallflower. Some might say the two boys were complete opposites, but Klaus would say they complemented each other perfectly. Best friends.

 

So, Ben was not surprised when he heard his door creak open and a “Benny?” from the dark empty of the doorway.

 

Ben sucked in a breath, trying to will himself to stop crying, but it was no use. Not when he knew he was going to have to talk.

 

“Hi,” he said, his voice wavering. Fuck.

 

Klaus clicked the door closed and walked over to his bed; Ben moved over towards the wall, inviting Klaus to crawl in with him. Klaus must have been freezing. Four liked to sleep in his boxers year round, even when it was December, like now. It was okay—Ben was a radiator.

 

“I heard you through the wall,” Klaus said. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Hurts,” Ben said, his voice cracking along with his composure.

 

“Wait, what? Did he hurt you? Dad, I mean?” Klaus sounded like he was ready to throw punches, and if that actually happened, Klaus probably would march down to Reginald’s room right then and there.

 

“No,” Ben said through gritted teeth. “My - My…” Ben glanced down towards his stomach. “They’re hurting me because they want out.”

 

Klaus was silent for a minute, looking between them. He would have suggested letting them out if he wasn’t scared they would tear him to pieces. Klaus reached his hand out and gingerly touched Ben through his shirt.

 

Ben gasped loudly. The monster inside him liked being acknowledged; they reached back towards Klaus, making his stomach stretch a bit more. Ben couldn’t help but let out a sob. His skin felt like it was on fire.

 

“Hurts.” Klaus pulled his hand away.

 

“Does it… feel weird? Other than it hurting, that is.”

 

Ben nodded. He imagined this is what pregnant women feel like when their baby kicks, but times a thousand and more painful.

 

Klaus never had self-control. “Can I feel it?” he asked.

 

Ben wanted to shout _fuck no_ out of embarrassment, self-repulsion, and the pain, but he didn’t. Ben got the shit end of the stick with powers. Even Klaus who was riddled with ghosts day in and day out didn’t hold a candle compared to the horrors Ben had to deal with on the daily. His other siblings had nothing to complain about, and Ben resented it. He wanted somebody, _anybody_ to understand even an iota of what he was going through.

 

Ben took Klaus’s hand and pressed it firmly over his stomach, whimpering and gnawing on his lip.

 

It was Klaus’s turn to gasp. “Christ on a cracker,” he said. “It feels - feels kinda cool.” Ben shot him a death glare and almost pushed him away. “Sorry, sorry. I mean, Jesus, I don’t know how you deal with that under your clothes all day. How do we not see this little gremlin squirming under your sweater?”

 

“I wear a size up,” Ben answered. He let out a shaky sigh, tears welling up again. “I hate them. I _hate_ them.” But the monsters were a part of him. He wasn’t infested with a parasite. They were a part of Ben. “I hate myself.”

 

“Hey, hey, hey,” Klaus said, scooting closer to Ben, his hand still on him, thumb rubbing slow circles. “I’m the only one who can hate themselves here.” Klaus tried to laugh a little, but it fell short. “Don’t hate yourself, Benny boy. There’s nothing wrong with you.”

 

Ben let out a cynical laugh, angrily wiping away tears. “Oh, yeah. The fucking monster swimming inside of me is super normal. It’s terrible and makes me ugly and I _hurt_ people.”

 

“You’re not ugly,” Klaus said softly. “You’re actually very good looking.”

 

“That might make Diego feel better, but not me,” Ben said, going straight for the jugular.

 

Klaus flushed, and Ben could tell even in the dark. “Doesn’t mean I don’t think you’re pretty too.”

 

Ben could tell the difference between the butterflies and tentacles in his stomach. Not only did his tummy flutter, but the tentacles liked that line too.

 

“I like you, tentacles and all,” Klaus said, pressing a little harder against his stomach to prove a point. The tentacles stroked him back. Instead of thrashing inside of him, they moved languidly against Klaus’s touch. Klaus wondered if pressure helped the pain, like a bad stomach ache or when Allison had period cramps. Ben knew pressure didn’t help—it was all Klaus.

 

“I think the tentacles like you, too,” Ben mumbled close to his pillow, a little embarrassed.

 

“Yeah?” Klaus said, and Ben could hear the smirk.

 

Ben nodded, shy, into his pillow. The tentacles didn’t hurt as much anymore, but they were uncomfortable.

 

Klaus was impulsive, inappropriate, and just a little too curious, and this situation was no different.

 

Ben was half-mast in his pajamas from the completely new feeling Klaus brought upon him, and he never would have acknowledged it if Klaus didn’t dance his fingers down Ben’s torso.

 

Sure, Klaus was attractive; anyone with eyes and at least two working brain cells could see that. His lithe body oozed sex, even if Klaus didn’t mean to (but he did mean to, usually). Klaus probably caused quite the Gay Panic in Diego—Ben, on the other hand, just liked what he liked. He wasn’t going to let society’s fragile masculine standards get in the way of that. Ben just didn’t think it mattered.

 

“Um,” Ben said intelligently. “The tentacles—and you...it feels interesting. And kinda good? Sorry.” He was ashamed. He hated that the tentacles were bringing some pleasure to the table here. It would be so much easier to hate everything about them.

 

“Maybe...I can make you feel better,” Klaus said. The air was thick between them. Klaus flip-flopped back and forth from dragging his fingertips under Ben’s waistband and barely touching the front of his pants.

 

“It’s your choice,” Klaus continued. “If the brother thing bothers you—“ At that, Ben’s hips involuntarily twitched forward, and it was game on.

 

Klaus grinned and slid his hand down the front of Ben’s pants but outside his underwear. Ben was fully hard at this point and moaned a little into the open air. The tentacles spun inside him then settled down.

 

Klaus cupped his cock and said, “Jesus, Ben. This all for me?”

 

“Shut up and touch me,” Ben hissed out.

 

Klaus chuckled and pushed Ben’s shoulder back so he was lying flat on the bed. Ben let him be in charge, considering he had loads more experience sexually than Ben did. Ben had never been touched like this before unless you counted that fangirl who groped him in a crowd once, but Ben didn’t.

 

Klaus moved closer to Ben, pressing his own erection into Ben’s hip. He was sort of proud of himself for making Klaus get a hard-on, especially in this state. Klaus animatedly kicked the blankets off their legs, earning a grin from Ben.

 

“Lift up,” Klaus whispered in his ear before licking the shell of Ben’s ear, making him shutter and blow out some air.

 

Ben did as he was told and worked with Klaus to push his pants down, freeing his cock. It slapped his stomach thickly, precum dripping against his shirt buttons. Klaus looked down at him through his lashes and licked his lips. Klaus ran his index finger over Ben’s head and dipped his fingertip into his slit, gathering some precum then sucking it into his mouth.

 

“God, you’re so dirty, Klaus,” Ben said, his dick twitching. Make no mistake: Ben absolutely _loved_ it. Klaus could tell.

 

“You taste so _good_ , baby,” Klaus said. Just yesterday, Klaus was calling Ben a twat, but now he was calling him baby, and it should have made Ben want to laugh but instead, it made Ben want to kiss him. Kiss his brother. Jesus.

 

Klaus wrapped a hand around Ben’s cock and stroked up and down once, testing how it felt in his hand. Ben moaned and grabbed Klaus’s leg hard to stabilize himself. This felt so much better than masturbating. Ben wasn’t huge, by any stretch of the means, but he wasn’t small. He wondered how he sized up to Klaus.

 

The tentacles were almost _purring_ inside of him. Thankfully, they still felt like they were being paid attention to, even if Klaus was touching his cock instead now.

 

Klaus started kissing down Ben’s neck—kissing whatever skin was available to him before he hit shirt—while steadily stroking his cock. Ben moaned louder when Klaus sucked a bruise into where his neck and shoulder met. Klaus had to slap a hand over his mouth to keep him quiet.

 

“Wouldn’t want to wake anyone else up, would we? We’d have to stop,” Klaus murmured.

 

Ben licked Klaus’s palm in response, thinking it would make Klaus move it off, but he should have known better. Klaus hummed and got a devilish smirk on his face, swiftly slipping two fingers over Ben’s tongue and into his mouth. Ben instinctively sucked, batting his eyes up at Klaus.

 

Klaus hissed in a breath and groaned, “ _Fuck_ —good boy, Ben.” Ben preened from the compliment.

 

Klaus was grinding his own hard cock against Ben’s hip. Klaus took his fingers out of Ben’s mouth and gripped his pillow. Maybe it was just Klaus rubbing off on him (no pun intended), but Ben impulsively wrapped his hand around the back of Klaus’s neck and yanked him down so their lips met.

 

It was awkward and sloppy and inexperienced on Ben’s part but oh so good. Klaus gasped against his lips and his hand stuttered but he didn’t pull away at all. Being brothers _definitely_ didn’t matter here, apparently. Klaus licked into Ben’s mouth, and Ben kept letting Klaus take the lead.

 

“‘M close,” Ben said, words smudged between their lips.

 

Klaus pulled back and leaned down, spitting filthily on Ben’s cock. Oh, he was done for. Klaus’s hand returned to Ben’s mouth as Ben arched off the bed, crying out. The sound was muffled, but his ropes of cum shot freely over Klaus’s hand and Ben’s pajama shirt.

 

The tentacles seized too, but for once, they stilled after his orgasm.

 

Ben’s body collapsed against the mattress, melted butter slipping between Klaus’s fingers. Once his breathing evened out, Ben turned towards Klaus, a blush high on his cheeks.

 

“Do you want me to…?” Ben motioned to Klaus’s crotch.

 

“No,” Klaus said. “I, um, finished.”

 

“Just from rubbing against me?” Ben said, lust bubbling in his stomach weakly again.

 

Klaus hummed in response, slumping down next to Ben. “Do you feel better?”

 

“Yeah. They’re quiet,” Ben admitted.

 

Klaus smiled a genuine smile. “Good. I’ll stay the night here. Ya know, just in case the tentacles get bad again. Another selfless move on my part; no need to thank me.”

 

Ben chuckled and shoved at his shoulder with no meaning behind it, before grabbing the blanket from the bottom of the bed. Klaus was the best friend he could ever ask for, brother or not. They let the silence envelop them comfortably before drifting off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls let me know what you guys thought! do we like ben/klaus? or diego/klaus better? or should they all kanoodle?
> 
> allison and vanya next.
> 
> comments and kudos really motivate me to keep going. <3


	5. Allison and Vanya

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry this has taken so long. i have no reason other than i suck.

Allison was walking around the mansion like she had a juicy secret. Because she did.

 

There was no way she was going to _tell_ anyone her and Luther had sex—Luther made her swear—but she was bursting at the seams. True to her power, Allison loved to gossip, and keeping this secret was making her go crazy.

 

She walked around high-and-mighty for weeks; she acted like a smug adult who was just better than the kids around her. It frustrated Diego so much that his stutter slipped back when he yelled at her. Klaus (with Ben by his side) tried for a solid week straight to get Allison to tell, but lost interest after that. She even caught Five sneaking around in her room. Allison didn’t budge, but she made damn sure everyone knew that it was a _good_ secret.

 

Vanya was the only one who didn’t try to get the secret out of her, and it was driving Allison crazy. Why didn’t she care? Did Vanya think she was better than her or something? _Did she know already?_

 

That was the thought driving Allison crazy for the next three days. Whispered conversations about Vanya filled any empty time Allison and Luther had, and honestly, it was starting to annoy Luther.

 

“Who gives a shit what Vanya knows or doesn’t know? No one will believe her anyway,” Luther said after lunch. After the words left his mouth, Luther sheepishly added, “But maybe you should still try to figure out if she does know.”

 

Luther was right, mostly. No one really did care what Vanya had to say, and Allison didn’t even think she would have the guts to say anything in the first place. But, if there was even a chance someone could believe Vanya, Allison had to put a stop to it. _I heard a rumor you didn’t know Luther and I had sex…_

 

She waited until she heard the all-too-familiar sound at three o’clock in the morning. In a huff, Allison hopped out of bed and pulled her fuzzy slippers on before leaving her room quietly. Vanya was sound asleep when Allison slipped into her sister’s room.

 

“Vanya!” Allison hissed, waking her sister.

 

“Wha— What’s wrong?” Vanya said, startled. “Allison?”

 

“Why don’t you care about my secret?”

 

Vanya sat up and rubbed her eyes. “‘Cause it doesn’t really matter to me.”

 

Allison crossed her arms and walked over to her bed, offended. “What do you mean?”

 

“I mean,” Vanya said, “that it’s your secret. If you don’t want to tell me, that’s okay. I respect your privacy.”

 

Vanya was too good for all of them. Allison sort of felt guilty for thinking so low of her for a few days. “Oh.” Allison kept standing by Vanya’s bed, awkwardly. She should probably just go.

 

“Do you, um, want to talk about it?” Vanya asked quietly, looking too small for her bed and body.

 

“Yes!” Allison all but blurts out. “Scooch over. Promise not to tell anyone?”

 

Vanya moves towards the wall and Allison snuggles next to her. “Yeah, of course I promise.”

 

“No, I’m serious. Swear on your life.”

 

“Geez, what happened? Okay, yeah, I swear.”

 

Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea. Just a second ago, Allison was convinced Vanya was going to rat her out, but now she was going to tell her? What, was Allison a dumbass or something? Well, at least she could rumor her into forgetting if it went badly.

 

Allison bit her lip. “Have you ever had sex before?” She asked, knowing the answer. They got _the talk_ from Pogo last year and then were forbidden to ever talk about it. 

 

Vanya flushed red. “No!” she squeaked. Then, her eyes widened, having figured it out. “Oh my god, Allison, have you?”

 

Allison blushed and nodded, pulling the blanket up a little higher to cover her mouth.

 

Vanya gawked at her. “With _who_?”

 

Allison pulled the blanket fully over her head at that point, whining from embarrassment. “You _know_ who.”

 

Vanya was quiet for a second, but Allison couldn’t see her. “Luther?”

 

Allison’s heart was beating out of her chest. Her siblings weren’t stupid. Of course, they saw how they looked at each other. Vanya had a lot of time to observe since she wasn’t included in anything. Watching her siblings train and hang out was probably like watching a play. Five was the smartest out of all of them, and if Vanya didn’t figure it out herself, Five definitely told her.

 

This, though. Oh, this. This was the first time anyone had acknowledged the forbidden love (at least to Allison). It was sort of an unspoken truth. As much as they tried to keep it a secret, Allison knew they knew.

 

Allison popped her eyes out from the blanket and nodded at Vanya. Allison wasn’t ashamed of what she and Luther did, but she was embarrassed and scared of being judged.

 

Vanya nodded slowly, the gears turning. “So,” Vanya said. Allison prepped herself for the _incestdirtywrong_ speech (albeit timidly coming from Vanya). “How was it?”

 

Vanya never ceased to surprise Allison. “It was… good,” Allison said slowly, but her answer sounded more like a question. “Don’t judge me.”

 

“Judge you? Because you had sex? You’re old enough to decide that stuff on your own,” Vanya said, then paused again. “If I had someone special to me, I would think about it too.”

 

“So, you don’t care that it was with Luther?”

 

Vanya gave her a very un-Vanya look and said, “Allison, I would be more surprised if it _wasn’t_ with Luther.”

 

Allison chuckled and took the blanket away from her face. “I guess you’re right. But, yeah, it was good. It hurt _a lot_ at first. Luther is, ya know, big.”

 

Vanya made a face at that. “I don’t need to know how big his, um, thing is.”

 

“Sorry, sorry,” Allison said. “But after a while, it felt good. I mean, I had to touch myself for it to feel good, but I’m sure it’ll start feeling better with enough, um, practice. It was a big stretch—sorry—and I’ve never had anything that big in me before—c’mon, Vanya, chill out, you know dicks are thick.”

 

After Vanya stopped cringing after every mention of Luther being big, Vanya processed what was being said. “So, wait, you had to touch yourself. What do you mean?” Vanya asked shyly.

 

It was now Allison’s turn to be shy. She knew they were just talking about a dick being in her vagina, but that was somehow less personal than this question. “Um,” she began. “You know… like, I was touching myself! My clit. It feels good. C’mon, don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

 

Vanya fidgeted and didn’t answer. She looked as if she’d let her bangs swallow her whole if they could. 

 

“Do you _not_ know what masturbating is? I know Dad doesn’t really let us have access to sex stuff, but you’ve never…?”

 

Vanya shook her head and cleared her throat uncomfortably before saying, “Uh, no. I haven’t. I mean, I know what masturbating is. We had the talk and I’ve listened to Klaus talk about, well, Klaus stuff—” They both giggled. “—but, um, no, I haven’t ever… done that before.”

 

“You’ve never been _curious_? I mean, Jesus, Vanya. It’s _so_ good.”

 

“Of course I’ve been curious,” Vanya said, exasperated. “I’ve had… feelings down there before. Tingly and throbby and a swooping feeling in my stomach. And Mom assured me that I was _not_ wetting my pants, but that that was just something that happened to girls when they were attracted to someone. I don’t know!” Vanya was clearly humiliated to be sharing this information, and even more humiliated that she didn’t know what to do with it. It was kind of adorable.

 

“And I’ve tried!” Vanya continued. This was probably the most Allison has ever heard Vanya talk. “Because I know masturbating is what you’re supposed to do when you feel like that, but I don’t know _how_.”

 

“Oh,” Allison said. “Um. You touch yourself. Like, down there.” _No fucking duh; we just went over that._

 

“I _know_ , but how?” Vanya said, flustered. “Never mind. I don’t know why I’m telling you all this.”

 

“No!” Allison said quick. “It’s okay. I want to help. You - You have to put fingers in your hole. And, um, rub your clit. You know where that is, right?”

 

Vanya shifted awkwardly. “Oh, Vanya… Sex education failed you.” Vanya shot her a look. Allison never saw Vanya this feisty before, and she wasn’t sure if she liked it or wanted to put her back in her place. Or both.

 

“Do you, um, want me to show you?” Allison asked before she even thought about what she was saying.

 

Vanya blanched. “Um. You don’t have to. I’ll figure it out eventually.”

 

“I mean, I don’t mind. And a boy isn’t going to show you. I had to literally put Luther where I wanted him.” Allison laughed. “By the way, who’s making you all horny, hm? Who are you attracted to?” Allison elbowed her sister gently.

 

Vanya bit her lip. Oh, so it was someone they both knew. “Are they in the house?” Vanya’s eyes widened a fraction and Allison didn’t miss it.

 

“I heard a rumor you told me who it is,” Allison said simply, not regretting it one bit. She told Vanya about Luther, after all. Maybe if Allison had some leverage on Vanya, she wouldn’t tell.

 

“Five,” Vanya immediately said. “Hey! Don’t do that!” She crossed her arms.

 

“ _Five_?” Allison hissed. “What the hell? _Why_?”

 

“He’s nice to me!” Vanya said, defensively. “And, um, a few months ago I went to his room after I had a nightmare and when we woke up the next morning, he was _hard_ against my back.”

 

“And that did it for you, huh?”

 

“I can’t stop thinking about it.” Vanya pulled the covers around herself more.

 

“So.” Allison smirked. “You wanna get yourself off thinking about Five? And his hard dick?”

 

“I guess, yeah,” Vanya said, but just barely said it. A mouse could talk louder.

 

Allison pulled the blanket back. She already fucked one sibling, so this definitely wouldn’t be as weird. “Take your pants off. I’m going to show you what to do.”

 

Vanya did as she was told, hesitantly. When she got to her panties, she looked up at Allison, shy. Allison nodded at her, encouraging her. As much as Allison wanted to give Vanya privacy, there wasn’t another way to do this (or at least that’s what Allison told herself).

 

When the panties came off, Vanya held between her legs, not wanting to show anything. “We don’t have to do this. I’m just trying to help,” Allison said.

 

“N-No. Okay, it’s fine,” Vanya said, more to herself. She slowly took her hands away and spread her legs butterfly, exposing herself. She did everything in her power to not look Allison in the eye.

 

Allison wanted Vanya to look at her.

 

Allison repositioned herself next to Vanya. Her cheeks were warm, but she ignored the heat between her legs.

 

“Um, okay. So, this is your clit,” Allison said, pointing at it close. Vanya had more pubic hair than Allison did, but it was trimmed enough to see what they were doing.

 

“Here?”

 

“No, there.”

 

“Here?”

 

“No, Vanya—look at my finger.”

 

“Here? Wait, that feels good.”

 

“Yes! There! Oop, okay, no. You moved. Fuck, just let me—here.”

 

Allison put her own middle finger on Vanya’s clit. Right at the base of it, where she knew it felt good. “Like this,” Allison whispered, rubbing a little bit. Vanya was getting wet; Allison could see the shine. Which, by the way, was really weird. Allison hardly saw her own vagina up close, let alone another girl’s. This was _weird_.

 

“ _Oh._ ”

 

Allison took Vanya’s hand gently and put her finger where her’s was. “Right there.”

 

Vanya moved her finger like Allison did and finally glanced up at her for approval. It made Allison’s stomach jump. “A-A little faster would probably feel better,” Allison guided.

 

Vanya, again, did as she was told. Her thighs twitched to life until they were shaking. Allison put a tentative hand on one to steady her.

 

“Yeah, that’s good,” Allison said, her voice a little deeper. “Keep going, sis.”

 

“Feels good,” Vanya whimpered after a bit of time. Her eyes had fluttered closed.

 

While this was great and all, it was a bit uncomfortable, especially with Allison being turned on too. So to speed things along—

 

“I bet it would feel better if Five was touching you like this.”

 

Vanya let out a breathy gasp, her eyes snapping open. “Allison—“

 

“He could touch you right there. Make you feel good. While his cock was pressed against your side again.”

 

Vanya’s mouth was left parted as she slid down on the bed a little bit more. Her wrist was moving fast now, her index and middle finger rubbing together, her clit in between. It was different than what Allison liked, but it was kind of hot knowing that this made Vanya feel even better. It was _Allison_ who helped her get this far.

 

“He - He’d tell you how much he wants you. How he wants to fuck you here on your bed. Do you think he has a big dick? Well, you felt it. I bet he does.”

 

Vanya was rocking her hips up into her hand, her eyes clenched shut. She was dripping. So was Allison.

 

“And,” Allison bit her lip, “maybe he’d even touch you here before putting it in you.” Allison slipped a finger into Vanya.

 

Okay, now _this_ was weird. Why did Allison do that? What the actual fuck. It felt basically the same as Allison’s own—wet, slick, silky, _tight_. But everything smelled so _Vanya_. Not in a bad way, no. It smelled soft and even powdery, but as if that smell punched you in the gut. It was everywhere.

 

Vanya’s eyes flew open and her back arched off the bed. “ _Oh, please_ ,” Vanya begged, moaning.

 

Allison pumped the finger in and out, making sure not to get in the way of Vanya’s own hand. She hardly knew what she was doing, but went with instinct. “Come for me, Vanya,” Allison whispered in her ear. “Come for Five.”

 

Vanya, ever obedient to her siblings, wanting to fit in, clenched painfully hard around the digit, sucking it into place. Her legs went taut as she came. She had to bite the back of her hand to keep herself quiet. It would be so unlike Vanya to be loud, even now.

 

Vanya’s body slumped down against the bed, and both girls took their hand off her cunt at the same time.

 

“Thanks, Allison,” Vanya said, looking over at her sister.

 

Allison cleared her throat, trying to keep herself under control. “Uh, yeah. Of course. No problem. I’m glad you, um, liked it.”

 

They looked at each other a little longer, the edges of Vanya’s mouth upturned ever so slightly.

 

“I should probably get back to bed,” Allison blurted out before doing something else dumb. 

 

She got out of bed and put her slippers back on before making her way to the door, not looking back.

 

Facing the door, Allison said, “Don’t tell anyone.”

 

“I promised I wouldn’t.”

 

Luther wasn’t even on her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so this is dumb, but we cool with just focusing on diego/klaus/maybe ben and five/vanya? unless anyone is absolutely dying to have another pair that I haven't done yet. lmk


	6. Diego and Klaus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we are finally in order time-wise, lads

Ever since That Night, Diego had been trying to keep his distance from Klaus. Not that he was pissed at him or that he didn’t want to spend time with him—no. The opposite, actually.

 

Diego wanted to spend _too_ much time with Klaus. The sun had nothing on Klaus’s gravitational pull, and if Diego wasn’t careful, he was going to get burnt.

 

Klaus was the only thing on Diego’s mind. His messy curls that had no right being so butter soft. His milky skin always splattered black and blue. His veins that traveled so carelessly below the neck of his uniform. And his lips, his lips, his lips. Fuck.

 

Diego understood Klaus’s drug habit every single time Klaus laughed. It was heroin for Number Two.

 

And ever since That Night—ya know, the one they definitely did not kiss—Diego knew that Klaus was dangerous for him. A cotton candy, brain-curdling distraction. That’s why Dad doesn’t let Allison play with make-up, and why he takes away Five’s math notebooks, and if Vanya had powers Diego was sure Dad would never let her play the violin. They were distractions from the big picture and that simply could not happen.

 

Not that Diego gave a single rat’s ass about Dad’s big picture bullshit, but it was a good enough excuse for Diego.

 

He was getting sloppy. Diego was too busy watching Klaus spar with Allison from the corner of his eye to see Luther punch him in the face. Everyone hissed in surprise and second-hand pain when Diego went down.

 

“Fuck,” Diego said, scrambling to stand back up.

 

“What are you doing?” Luther whispered at him. Everyone knew that Luther was only good at fighting because of his power; otherwise, he had the agility of a toddler.

 

“Number Two!” Reginald said, his voice booming in the gym. Everyone’s spines straightened. Reginald’s cane sounded his approach and Diego kept his head down, watching the blood droplets hit the floor. Reginald grabbed his face and turned it side to side, inspecting the damage. Diego blacked out around the edges from the pain.

 

Reginald sighed. “I’m disappointed that you were not able to block such a simple maneuver. What will you do if you are really being attacked? You’d be easily overpowered.”

 

Diego swallowed hard and couldn’t help but glance at his siblings. His eyes sought out Klaus, like usual, unfortunately. He looked at Diego like a car crash—excited to see what horrors will happen next—but, like, if a baby bird was in the car accident. Worried, too.

 

“Number Four, take Number Two to the infirmary. Grace will set your nose,” Reginald continued. Diego’s hornet’s nest stomach dropped. “Number Five, with Number One. Number Six, with Number Three. Go.”

 

If Diego had a set of balls and any semblance of will-power, he would have told his dad that he could have taken himself to Grace. But the words died before they even reached his tongue. Instead, Klaus practically skipped over to Diego and grabbed his bicep. And he’d take a hundred broken noses if Klaus never stopped looking at him like that.

 

“C’mon, tough guy,” Klaus said, smirking. When they were out of earshot, Klaus continued. “Losing your touch there, eh? Even _Luther_ can beat you now.”

 

“Won’t happen again,” Diego mumbled. “You can let go now, by the way. I-I’m fine.”

 

“Oh no,” Klaus said, dramatically clinging on. “Dear old Dad wanted me to take care of you, bro. If I let go, you’ll pass out on the stairs from blood loss and break your neck, and we can’t have that happen, now can we? You’re too pretty, and I’d have to pick up your slack, and I definitely don’t want to do any more than the bare minimum I already do.”

 

 _He thinks I’m pretty, he thinks I’m pretty, he thinks I’m_ — “P-Pretty?”

 

“Just the most handsome young man around,” Klaus gushed, punching his cheek grandmotherly. Diego swatted him away, his cheeks burning.

 

He was doing a terrible job of staying away from Klaus. He was doing an even worse job of trying not to think about him. Sure, Diego knew Klaus was his favorite even before they smoked together, but ever since then, it was like a switch was flipped inside of him. It took Diego weeks to figure out that the switch, which was previously on _straight_ , was now set to _KlausKlausKlaus_. And that scared Diego more than anything ever had. He was not Luther and Allison. And he sure as _fuck_ was not gay.

 

Grace patched Diego up nice: he had a little band-aid across the bridge of his nose and two little cotton pellets up the nostrils until the bleeding stopped. Klaus made a pig-nose face at Diego, making him smile.

 

“God, you look so sexy, Di. Mm,” Klaus joked, faking a sensual voice and moan. The twitch in Diego’s pants at the noise, though, definitely wasn’t fake.

 

“Manners, Klaus, darling,” Grace scolded.

 

“Sorry, Mom,” Klaus said, winking at Diego.

 

“Now,” Grace said, a secret smile on her lips. “How would you boys like some muffins? I’m sure your father wouldn’t mind you both being gone a little longer. Besides, Diego, you shouldn’t spar until your nose heals.” He knew Dad would still make him anyway.

 

So Grace made them muffins. Diego and Klaus sat opposite from each other in the kitchen, small smiles on their faces as they munched in silence. Diego held an ice pack to his nose to help the swelling go down. Grace hummed a tune as she washed up.

 

“Um, thank you for bringing me to Mom,” Diego said awkwardly when they finished up and walked back to the rest of their family.

 

“No problem, bro,” Klaus said, bumping their shoulders together.

 

 _Bro_. Brothers. Shit.

 

***

 

Klaus was out on the town more often than he wasn’t on warm nights. Diego envied him a little bit but he knew he’d have his chance to be a wild-child eventually. Maybe when he went to college.

 

They were almost sixteen. They didn’t have much longer. Two more years and Dad couldn’t keep them hostage anymore.

 

Diego found it awkward to sleep with all the wires stuck to his face and even worse with a broken nose. It took a while, but eventually he found a comfortable position on his back to sleep in.

 

“Jesus Christ, I thought you were dead. Who sleeps like that? Move over,” Klaus whispered, waking him up. He was under the blanket before Diego could even process what was happening.

 

He groaned pathetically but made space anyway. “I just fell asleep,” Diego whined.

 

“What, are you gonna cry about it?” Klaus said. “I have a story to share.”

 

“If you’re gonna try to tell me about snorting coke off a drag queen’s dick, or whatever freaky shit you do now, you can go directly back to your room.”

 

“Okay, it was her _tits_ , and that was one time!” Klaus said defensively and a little too loud. “They were very life-like.”

 

“Oh, sorry. My mistake,” Diego said sarcastically. “Aren’t you gay?”

 

“I am a leaf, and I go wherever the wind blows me. Or I blow it, if you know what I mean,” Klaus said, wiggling his eyebrows. “Anyways, completely off topic and unimportant. Serves no use to the plot of my story. Maybe keep those themes in mind though.”

 

Klaus was too much for Diego sometimes. He was good for him, at any rate. Diego was too serious and Klaus as a whole rid him of tension. Filled him with a different kind of tension, though. Diego wished he could fill Klaus with something different too.

 

_Stop._

 

“So tell me the story.”

 

“Once upon a time,” Klaus started, delicately plucking the wires off of Diego. “A young ghost had a best friend who was an octopus. The ghost, in true ghost fashion, was very angsty, and the octopus usually made him feel better.”

 

“What did you and Ben do,” Diego said rather than asked.

 

“Shh! No! Don’t spoil the story; this is clearly entirely fictional. Ghosts don’t have friends. Anyway. The ghost was up haunting in the middle of the night and heard the octopus crying. The ghost thought, _huh, that’s strange. Octopus never cries. Let’s see what’s wrong._

 

“So the ghost went through the wall and said, _Octopus, what’s the matter?_ And the octopus said, _I got hurt, Ghost_. Now, the octopus always tries to help the ghost when he’s hurt, so the ghost thought he could try to help the octopus this time. So the ghost started to touch his, uh, tentacle. With consent, of course.”

 

“Klaus—“ Diego started, not wanting to hear where this was going. What the actual fuck. Diego would have been shocked at this confession if the beginnings of heartbreak weren’t settling in his ribs.

 

“I’m not finished,” Klaus interrupted. He was much less cheerful than he normally was. “So the ghost didn’t really mean anything by it. He just thought it was a friend helping another friend out. And he knew it would make the octopus feel better. But then the octopus kissed the ghost.”

 

The room was deathly quiet, thick with bottled up emotions and secrets starting to spill out. Diego wanted to cry a little.

 

After Diego didn’t say anything, Klaus cleared his throat and said, “So. After they finished up, the ghost stayed the night with the octopus. Since it’s happened though, the ghost has no fucking clue what to do or think. Was the ghost leading the octopus on? Was this all in the heat of the moment or did the octopus have a crush on the ghost? Does the ghost like the octopus now? He has no fucking idea. Would it be weird to just go back to normal?”

 

Diego bit his lip hard enough to stain his teeth red. Anything to push the tears back. Anything to stop Diego from punching a hole in the wall. “I think,” Diego said, “that the ghost should do whatever makes him happy.”

 

It absolutely killed him to say it. He wanted to shout _fuck no, play with knives instead!!_ but that wouldn’t be being a good brother. Sometimes, doing what was right wasn’t easy, but it was easier when it was for someone you love.

 

“The ghost doesn’t really know what would make him happy. The thing is, he sort of _liked_ what happened. He came from it too.”

 

“Jesus fuck, Klaus. If you want to fuck Ben, just go fuck Ben. You don’t have to tell me all about it. Maybe Allison could give you better advice on how to fuck your brother.” Diego was never good at expressing his feelings in a healthy, normal way. Happy? Indifferent. Sad? Angry. Embarrassed? Angry. In pain? Angry. Angry? _Fucking pissed_. And Diego didn’t mean to be an asshole right now, but he was hurt. He wanted Klaus to feel it.

 

Klaus flinched. “Yeah, well, I came to you instead. Sorry to disappoint.”

 

“Maybe you shouldn’t have.” Klaus didn’t move though. ‘When did this happen anyway?”

 

“Thursday,” Klaus said. “I didn’t tell Ben about when we kissed—” Diego interrupted with _we didn’t kiss_. “—yeah we did. You know we did. And I liked that too. And I think you liked it too. But I could have told him, and I didn’t. I haven’t told anyone.”

 

“How come?”

 

Klaus shrugged. “Guess I like that it’s just mine. My little special memory. I don’t want judgy people ruining it.”

 

“So why did you tell me what happened with you and Ben?”

 

Klaus shrugged again. “It’s different. I _know_ how I feel about what happened with you, but I’m confused about Ben.”

 

Diego’s heart beat in his ears. Fuck Ben right now. _Fuck_ Ben. “So how do you feel about it? About me.”

 

Klaus rolled on his side to face Diego. “Depends.”

 

“Depends? On what? I thought you said you knew.”

 

“Depends on how you feel about me. About it.”

 

Diego shut his mouth like a clam. A strained noise came from the back of his throat. Klaus was staring him down with his twinkly, hopeful eyes and _damn_ Diego wanted to kiss him.

 

“D-Depends on how you f-feel about Ben,” Diego said when he finally found his voice.

 

Klaus reached up and ran his finger tips along Diego’s scar. “Like I said, I don’t know. If I’m being one hundred percent honest with you, Ben had a nice cock. And he was a good kisser. And it felt nice being wanted like that,” Klaus said. “You know, after you rejected me.”

 

“I didn’t _reject_ you,” Diego said.

 

“You ran away like I threatened to set you on fire. If that didn’t scream _I’m not into it_ , I don’t know what does,” Klaus chuckled sadly.

 

“You just surprised me. And it surprised myself, I guess. I mean, goddamn, what does that make me if I liked it? Gay? A gay, incestuous pervert?”

 

“C’mon Diego, don’t get so uppity. You didn’t freak out when I told you Ben kissed me. Jealous, maybe, but not disgusted. And the whole city probably heard Luther and Allison the other night. And now I’m two brothers in, so you’re obviously not alone.”

 

“ _Jealous?_ I was not jealous. I don’t care,” Diego said, his blush deceiving him.

 

“Oh, for fucks sake—“ Klaus leaned forward and kissed Diego square on the mouth.

 

Diego felt like wasps were crawling out from the folds of his brain and buzzing angrily in his head. Punishing him for punishing himself. He wondered what their fans would think if they knew the Umbrella Academy was all fucking each other. He wondered if his fans would stop shouting for him on the streets.

 

Diego wondered what he had to do to be happy.

 

He leaned into it. He could have an internal identity crisis later. He broke his nose today and has been beating himself up so much recently; he deserved this. Even if it was in the dark at four in the morning, even if he could chalk it up to a dream and forget it happened when the sun hit the horizon. He could pretend the night was smoke and mirrors, shadows in the recesses of his heart. But right now, it was real. 

 

When Klaus pulled back, Diego kept his eyes closed but his lips parted. “Was that better than Ben?”

 

Klaus giggled. “Ben used _tongue_.”

 

Diego opened eyes and saw the mischievous, dark look in Klaus’s. “Is that what you want?” Klaus nodded.

 

That was all Diego needed. Diego lunged forward and caught his brother’s lips with his own. Klaus moaned gently. Diego had virtually no practice with this (okay, none), but he was gonna try his hardest to get Klaus to keep making that noise. He slipped his tongue into Klaus’s mouth and Klaus threw his arms around Diego’s neck, dragging him on top of him.

 

It didn’t take much for Diego to be throbbing hard, and if his calculations were correct, Klaus was hard too. Diego pushed his hips forward against Klaus’s, chasing friction. Klaus hook his ankles behind Diego’s back and pulled him closer. If Diego could get two brain cells to work together right now, he could almost convince himself that Klaus was a girl.

 

“I want you,” Klaus said into Diego’s mouth.

 

Diego pulled away with a shaky breath. He sure as fuck didn’t think his first sexual experience would involve a hard cock pressed to his thigh—he was betting on more boob—but somehow this was better.

 

“I don’t want to keep going until you figure out what’s going on with Ben,” Diego blurted out. What the fuck? He _wanted_ Klaus, and just got him. Why was he stopping now? When did Diego get possessed by a good guy?

 

Klaus looked shocked for a minute but soon nodded and gently pushed Diego off. “Okay, yeah. That’s fine.”

 

“I’m sorry—“

 

“No, no. I get it.”

 

Diego already knew that he was going to be angrily jerking off to this night forever. Diego wanted to taste Klaus. Run his tongue down his neck to his pert little nipples. Klaus had more muscle than he let on, and Diego wanted to feel every hard line. He wanted to be tickled by the dusting of hair on the inside of Klaus’s thighs as he lavished his balls—and went further down. Oh, Klaus would arch his back like a wanton angel. 

 

Diego wondered if his aim was just as good with his dick.

 

Diego nodded too, putting his arm behind his head, not caring that his cock was standing proud. He wanted Klaus to look. “I like you, you motherfucker.”

 

“I like you too.” There was a smile in Klaus’s voice.

 

“So Ben likes guys?”

 

“Who fuckin’ knows at this point.”

 

“God, this family is fucked up.”

 

“You said it, brother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not as smutty as it could have been, but here we are with some angst.
> 
> vanya and five again next!! i know you guys have been wanting that.
> 
> be honest with me though: is it weird that i have multiple ships in the same fic? i know not everyone ships all of these/wants to read them. like, do the fiveya shippers ship kliego or do yall get pissed when i post it instead of fiveya? or vise versa?? lmk


	7. Five / Vanya

Sex was distracting. Skirts were distracting. And puberty _sucked_.

 

It was no secret that Five was a genius. A self-taught physics prodigy, even. If he had normal schooling, he was sure he’d be miles ahead of his peers. After all, his siblings were idiots, and they would be considered _brilliant_ out in the real world (yes, even Klaus).

 

On top of that, Five was a self-described pragmatist, realist, and no-nonsense guy. Science was the answer to everything, and he was determined to do something great all by his damn self. He didn’t have _time_ to dick around like the rest of his idiot siblings. Without a high school education, good internships, connections, plus some, Five was going to have to work his ass off to get into an Ivy League. It didn’t matter that Five was good at getting to the bathroom really fast or that the mayor would call him _a good kid_. At most, he’d be a walking science experiment if he didn’t prove himself.

 

His siblings had other priorities. Luther was clearly going to stay under their father’s thumb forever, Diego and Allison were going where the wind took them, Klaus was too high to care, and Vanya and Ben were too anxious to know otherwise. Five was getting out. And to do that, he had to focus.

 

But, _goddamn,_ did Vanya look good in a skirt. 

 

At sixteen, Five would have liked to have mastered control over his body by now. He hated being so horny all the time. It was childish to get hard over the Playboys Diego showed him and his brothers. He had more important matters to handle than to masturbate thinking about strangers. And yet. _And yet_.

 

One day, Five woke up and it seemed like overnight that Vanya had curves in all the right places. No, she wasn’t curvy like those women in those magazines, but she wasn’t a little girl anymore. Her hips were a little wider, and her top was fitting a little tighter. If it wasn’t for their uniforms, he was sure her tits would be outgrowing her bra and giving her some _fantastic_ cleavage. Maybe even making the buttons pull. Vanya was soft; while he was getting zits, she glowed.

 

And Vanya’s skirt was kissing the top of her milky thighs. Her ass was making it push and bounce deliciously off her body. Five wanted to lick the slice of skin showing from her socks to her skirt and then some more. Bite each freckle on the way up.

 

It had been almost two years since that time Five woke up with morning wood pressed into Vanya’s back, and they never mentioned it. Vanya wasn’t put off by it—maybe only a little shy at first—and Five was too proud, so they quickly got back to hanging out, studying together, and just coexisting in peace. Five liked Vanya the best because she simply was the best out of all her siblings. And he sort of liked how none of the others paid attention to her; she was all Five’s. But they had stopped traveling into each other’s rooms: an unspoken rule. If they were going to hang out, it was in the library or the living room or the kitchen. No matter how innocent his friendship with Vanya was, that didn’t stop Five from accidentally jerking off thinking about her.

 

Jerking off had always been a maintenance thing, like brushing his teeth, but now it was different. Yeah, he knew the sooner he jerked off, the sooner he could get his mind back on track, but as of recently, his mind was still racing with thoughts of girls (Vanya) even after he came. He would always start off thinking about those naked girls in the magazines, but soon Vanya would drift in, and no matter how hard he tried, once an inkling of her was there, there was no getting away from it. She latched on like a parasite. Sometimes she popped into his head while he was in the middle of it, sometimes it was as he orgasmed, but nine times out of ten Five came thinking about Vanya.

 

Five’s mind was filthy when he had his hand around his cock and Vanya was on his mind ( _tits ass tits ass_ ass _assassass_ Vanya _fuck. fuck her fuck her hard bite her fill Vanya up fill her up with your cum breed her make her yours ruin her wreck Vanya’s pussy_ fuck _her fuck her with her skirt on have her ride you with her skirt and socks make cum drip down her legs fuck her in every room in the house—_ ) but later, he couldn’t even look Vanya in the eyes.

 

Unfortunately, Five jerked off a lot. Which meant that Five had been avoiding looking at Vanya for weeks.

 

One Sunday, Reginald had given Five and his siblings the night off after a particularly tough mission. They had been gone since Thursday, and Five couldn’t wait to sleep in his own bed. And see Vanya. After debriefing on what they did and didn’t do well, Five made his way upstairs.

 

Without showering or even changing his clothes or even stopping at his room, Five headed straight to Vanya’s room to say hi. After not seeing her for a few days and not having been able to jerk off, his mind had built the courage up to seek her out. He wasn’t going to stay—no, that would be too risky. Just a quick hi.

 

Five could have just jumped into the room, but he also could have knocked. Instead, he opened the door with no warning.

 

“Hey, Van, we’re home. I just wanted to say—” Five stopped mid-sentence when the door opened enough to see Vanya. She was leaned over, picking something off the ground, and even though she still had her skirt on, her ass was on full view. 

 

White cotton underwear never looked so good.

 

He should leave. He really should. ( _Fuckherfuckherfuckher_.) Vanya had her headphones on, though, as she listened to a CD, so she didn’t even know Five was there. He should leave. ( _Tearherpantiesoffandfuckherintheskirt._ ) It was such an invasion of privacy to stay. But now she was taking her skirt off. Her bra was tan. ( _Suckonhertits_.) Five was hard. Painfully hard. And Vanya was still mostly clothed. He didn’t even see an ass cheek or a nipple. But that skirt.

 

Five usually had better reaction times, but when Vanya unclipped her bra with one hand, she quickly turned around, and Five was still standing there gawking at her. Her bra had almost slid off her chest but when she saw Five, she jumped and quickly grabbed onto it to cover herself up.

 

“Five!” Vanya basically screamed, dropping her CD player, her headphones going with it.

 

“I - I - I—” Five said. Maybe he was stupid after all.

 

“Get out!”

 

A few beats of time passed while they both just looked at each other. As soon as her eyes flicked down to his hard-on, Five flushed and jumped into his own room.

 

Holy _shit_. Why did he just stand there like that? There’ll be no talking his way out of that one. She saw his boner, for Christ’s sake. Maybe he could jump over to Norway or something and live out the rest of his days in isolated embarrassment.

 

Despite being mortified, Five still jerked off thinking about what was under Vanya’s panties. And that skirt. Five thought she would look absolutely incredible in nothing but the skirt. Or even the skirt and some heels and a red bra. What could he say, naughty schoolgirls were hot, and it would be so hot to see Vanya stray so far from her timid self.

 

When he came (all over himself, might he add), he felt dirty. When he went to sleep, he felt dirty. When he woke up and saw Vanya, Five wanted to rip his skin right off. But he still had to hide a boner.

 

***

 

A week passed and he hadn’t looked at Vanya, let alone talk to her, in fear of seeing a look of disgust in her eyes. If he didn’t see her reject him, he could live in ignorant bliss that everything was okay; Five wasn’t going to beg for forgiveness. 

 

But maybe Five was a little bit of a pussy when it came to Vanya. He talked a big, grumpy game with the rest of his siblings, but he would make any excuse to leave whenever Vanya came into the room. The mature thing to do would be to have a conversation about it, but Five couldn’t take that sort of self-hatred, so instead he pretended like she didn’t exist until he was able to get a hand around his cock.

 

On Monday night, he settled into bed after jerking off in the shower ( _Vanya’s so small I bet her pussy is so tight I could fucking break her_ ) and got punched in the gut by a question: did he have a crush on Vanya? I mean, he jerked off thinking about her enough; he really should have thought about this before now. Aside from her body, Vanya was quite the catch. Pretty, kind, thoughtful, smart, talented, brave. A friend. A sister.

 

This would keep him up all night if he let himself think about it too hard. Tomorrow is a new day for new trials and tribulations.

 

Except, Five didn’t make it until sunrise. Vanya stormed into his room once the machines powered off and pushed his shoulder. It was so unlike the first night she snuck into his room.

 

Five woke up startled and ready to fight. When he realized it was Vanya, he put his fists away and face planted back into the pillow. Somehow, he would have preferred an intruder. His heart would race less.

 

“Jesus Christ, Vanya. Don’t _do_ that,” Five said. “What do you want?”

 

“Why have you been ignoring me?” Vanya demanded.

 

Five froze. “Um. The other night—”

 

“No, you’ve been acting weird before that, too. Now you’re just weirder.”

 

“No, I’m not,” Five said, you know, like a liar. 

 

“ _Yes_ , you _are_. Did I do something wrong? I just don’t get it.” Vanya sounded so sad and defeated. Five didn’t want that.

 

“No, no!” Five immediately said. “Here, c’mere.” Vanya didn’t move, and Five sighed. “I’m just fucked up, V. I don’t want to drag you into it.”

 

“You can’t tell me what I want or don’t want to be dragged into! If something bad is going on, I want to help you.”

 

“Quiet down,” Five said quickly.

 

“ _Stop_ telling me what to do!” Vanya said, albeit quieter, her fists clenched.

 

“Calm down,” Five said without thinking and Vanya looked like she was going to explode. He hadn’t seen that much emotion on her in years. “Sorry. Shit, it’s just complicated. It’s...personal. Nothing is _happening_ , per se.”

 

Vanya sat down on the edge of his bed and Five sat up next to her. “If I didn’t do anything, then what? If it's so _personal_ , then _how_ does it involve me.”

 

Should he tell her? Maybe he could play it off like it was an accident and he was grossed out and he feels really bad about it. Vanya would know he was lying, though.

 

“It’s…” Five thought. “Remember how you didn’t talk to me for a few days because you were embarrassed that I woke up with an erection when you came into my room after a nightmare?”

 

Vanya blushed and nodded. They never really spoke about that day, so it was very abrupt. Five would rather talk about that for an hour if that meant he didn’t have to tell Vanya he wanted to fuck her. That he maybe, sort of _liked_ her.

 

“It’s like that.”

 

“But I _said_ you’ve been acting like this for a few days.”

 

Five sighed and pinched the brim of his nose. “ _Think_ , Vanya. You’re still right.”

 

Vanya looked annoyed, but she paused to process what Five was saying. After a few moments, her eyes widened in realization, and Five wanted to throw up. But then she chuckled and shook her head. “No, that can’t be it.”

 

Five was ashamed, but held his ground military tight. “Listen, I know it’s fucked up. _I know_ ,” Five said, feeling frantic. He loathed being judged. “I’m working on it, and - and I _swear_ I would never do anything to you. Dad just keeps us away from everyone, and Luther and Allison…, and you look really good in skirts, and—” Vanya cut off Five’s anxious rambling with a kiss on the cheek.

 

“Shut up, Five.”

 

Five almost gave himself whiplash from how hard he ripped his head towards Vanya, shocked. Quickly, he assessed the situation. He read the room. He read Vanya. Body language, where she was looking, how close she was to him. How thick the air felt between them. Coming to a conclusion, Five tangled his fingers in the hair on the back of Vanya’s head and swiftly pulled her into a lip-lock.

 

Vanya made a startled noise in the back of her throat but didn’t pull away. Slowly, Five felt her press back against his lips. She was awkward—hell, so was Five—but it was perfect. As far as first kisses went, this was perfect. Vanya was perfect.

 

Five had always wondered what being intimate with someone would feel like. No, not just one body inside another; a genuine human connection. Would it feel like static electricity holding hair onto a balloon? Would it feel like a novel written in a language only they could read? Would it feel like a marshmallow exploding in the microwave?

 

Yes, Five would say it did. All that, and more.

 

For someone so logical, Five thought this confusing, intangible feeling made more sense than any equation he ever wrote, even if it made him want to do impossible things.

 

Five pulled back, his lips tingling. Vanya looked at him, her chest rising and falling deeply. “Five…”

 

“Do you want to stop?” he asked, making sure.

 

“No. God, no,” Vanya said, leaning forward again.

 

Her hands were on her lap, unsure of what to do with them. Five, keeping their lips pressed together, grabbed her wrists and slowly brought her back to laying on top of him. She gently straddled his waist, and it somehow was very innocent and ethereal, so unlike the whores in the magazine. But it was so unequivocally Vanya. Five licked into her mouth, and again, she made a surprised noise, but followed Five’s lead, trusting him.

 

He gripped her waist as they made out. The tight grasp traveled along Vanya’s sides until they brushed over her ass and landed on the back of her thighs. Five pulled her closer, grinding her against his hard on. Gasping, Vanya pulled away slightly.

 

“I’ve been thinking about something like this for _two years_ —” she started, pulling her hair to one side while perched on Five’s lap.

 

“We can talk about that later—” Five interrupted, his hands on her hips, before she interrupted again.

 

“No, I want to talk about it now.” Not even an inkling of Vanya being assertive crossed Five’s mind, but he was here for it. “I don’t know if I want to, um, _do_ anything tonight—”

 

“That’s fine.”

 

“I _know_ it’s fine. I’m a virgin. Um, I don’t know if you are. It’s okay if you’re not. Three of our siblings aren’t.”

 

“What? Three? I thought it was only Klaus.”

 

“Doesn’t matter, not important,” Vanya dismissed him. “But, uh, we can do other stuff. If you want, I mean.” She wiggled on his lap, trying to feel without her hands. “Allison taught me how to touch myself—no, I don’t want to talk about it—and I’ve been thinking about touching you. And you touching me. I mean, I’ve never touched, y’know, a dick before. But I can try?”

 

Five cut off her rambling this time. Her shy courage was adorable and sexy as hell. “ _Yes_. Fuck, Vanya. Touch me.” Maybe Five wasn’t too proud to beg after all.

 

Vanya and Five kissed again while they unbuttoned each other’s tops with shaky fingers on determined hands. Vanya had seen Five without a shirt on tons of times before, but she now trailed her fingers over his slight abs until she got to the base of his pants. Five, on the other hand, short circuited when the shirt fell off her shoulders, revealing alabaster collar bones leading to her breasts.

 

He was brought back to reality when Vanya danced her fingertips against Five’s straining erection. Five lost any semblance of control, at that point. He immediately cupped Vanya’s tits and moaned into her mouth. As much as it pained him to do so, he nudged her back; he wanted to see her. Her nipples were pebbled under his palms and there was a blush high up on her cheeks. Her mouth dropped open and her eyes dropped closed when he rolled her nipples in between two fingers. Pulling and twisting and pinching.

 

“ _Fuck_ , Five.” Five had never heard Vanya curse before, so the f-word reverberated in his ears. She might as well have given him the go-ahead to _ruin_ her.

 

Five propped himself up and took a nipple into his mouth, flicking the nub over and over. He held her by the small of her back and ground up into her. Taking the hint, Vanya dry-humped against him, while mewling in pleasure. Five dropped a hand down and slid it past her pants, past her panties, until his fingers were touching pubic hair.

 

“Can I?” Five mumbled, trailing kisses up her chest and neck.

 

“ _Yes_.”

 

Five pushed in a little further, his hand touching silky wet heat. He shuttered into the crook of her neck before biting gently at the skin. Five paid attention during their anatomy lesson, and he sure as _fuck_ paid attention to every single movement and noise Vanya made. He touched her everywhere, inside and out, but he settled at the top of her vagina—her clit, his mind supplied—when she whined loudly. Five had to kiss her quiet. In no way was he graceful or skilled in doing this, but Vanya practically rode his fingers, chasing the bubbling sweet pressure.

 

“Five, I’m gonna. I’m _gonna_ —” Vanya whispered, desperation dripping from her.

 

“Come for me, V,” Five commanded, and she did. She bit her lip hard to ward off any noises, but she shook like a leaf in his arms. It was a miracle Five didn’t come in his pants right then and there.

 

When she came down from her high, Five lowered them both back against the bed, thinking they could cuddle. He was more than happy to go at whatever pace Vanya wanted, even if that meant not getting off tonight. He had enough spank bank material to last him forever. But Vanya was full of surprises tonight.

 

They laid together for a moment before Vanya scooted down Five’s body. Without warning, Vanya pulled Five’s pants down just enough to free his cock. Five hissed as the air hit him. “ _Fuck_.”

 

“I’ve wanted to see this thing for ages.”

 

“Jesus, you’re not as innocent as you look, huh?” Five said, a smirk on the corner of his lips. Vanya looked back at him devilishly.

 

She wrapped a hand around his cock and experimentally stroked up once, twice. Five was immediately humbled, arching pathetically against the touch. “ _Do it_.”

 

Now, Five was expecting only a handjob at this point. In no way shape or form was Five prepared mentally for Vanya to pull her hair to the side again and lower her mouth down on his cock. Five moaned loudly and gripped her shoulder with one hand and the sheets with the other.

 

She popped off, her cheeks flushed with a confident uncertainty, and shushed him quietly. Five snapped his mouth shut and was prepared this time when Vanya took him back in her mouth. She sucked on a little more than the head of his cock and used her hand to pick up the slack. For someone who had never touched a dick before, Vanya was a natural.

 

And she was all Five’s. Five would be damned if anyone else got this perfect little mouth.

 

Five watched her intently, memorizing the way she looked with her lips stretched around him. It was _obscene_. He gently held her hair back when it started getting in the way, and he almost completely lost it when she looked up at him with gratitude in her eyes. Vanya popped off with a loud, well, pop and kitten licked the tip, lapping up the precome that was beading at the top.

 

“That’s it,” Five said, hand still in her hair as he lightly lowered her back down. She went pliantly. “You’re doing _so good_.”

 

Vanya hummed, preening from the compliment. All she wanted was to be noticed, and Jesus fucking _Christ_ , Five would give her all the attention she wanted if she never stopped doing that thing with her tongue. Experimentally, she forced herself down more, eliciting a gag, but the fucked up part of Five’s brain wanted to make her do it again and again and again. The noise was crack to his ears.

 

“Close,” Five grunted, gripping her hair a little tighter. It had snuck up on him.

 

Vanya bobbed her head a bit quicker, and Five was done for. With a loud groan, Five spilled into his sister’s mouth while his back arched off the bed. Honestly—one of the best orgasms he ever had. Vanya swallowed around him, and Five made a funny little noise because of it.

 

She sat up and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Without caring, Five pulled her close and kissed her languidly but deep. Tasting himself on her tongue was sort of hot, but that was an exploration for another day.

 

“Shit. Thank you,” Five said, unsure what else to say.

 

Vanya hid her face in his neck and hummed, “Mhm.”

 

They laid there in comfortable silence, both too fucked out to do anything. Five had no intention of letting her go. Not now, not ever. There was a lot to be said, and a lot left to be unsaid. _I love you_.) He wrote out what he wanted to tell her on her back with the tips of his fingers, his words settling cowardly in his stomach. But this moment right here right now was enough.

 

Five was starting to drift off, the smell of Vanya and sex lulling him to sleep. Right before he did so, Vanya whispered, “So, you like my skirt?”

 

Five smirked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys liked. feel free to follow me on twitter (@ellaluzzi) for dumb ass tweets.
> 
> the next chapter might take a tiny bit longer to post because i have to start writing short stories for school and ya girl cant multitask (or hand in smutty fanfic)


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